tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Little spoons don't ask big questions
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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