So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
