I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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