Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
