She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
