So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
