Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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