Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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