she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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