Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
