I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
