hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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