Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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