Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Blood and glitter go together right?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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