You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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