glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
