does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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