Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
