There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
