hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
