i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
