genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
