you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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