I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
