In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
