Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
