you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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