sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
