I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
