Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
