You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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