We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Randomize
