11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just threw up on my dentist
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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