Dual....:-)
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
