What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This gyro tastes like lonliness
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
