Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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