how can u be prego again
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
