no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I need moral support for this bender
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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