True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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