It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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