butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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