I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
