going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
