u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
