i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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