Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
