Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
