5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
