Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
