the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
