I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She even gives head with a lisp.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
try to milk me bitch
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